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A Windows XP Eulogy

 

If you’ve been tracking my progress, congratulations, you’re the only one. But you’ll also notice much of my content has been created to start the “next thing” on the internet. Thus far I have struck out every time.

But it only takes one…

And this one is the one…

That fails like all the rest.

But nevertheless, I’m going to try.

My latest attempt is based on the death of the popular operating system (O.S.) known as Windows XP. Microsoft has announced they will cease providing support for Windows XP, leading the slow, inevitable death of the O.S. No new computers will be made with it, and no new software will be made to support it.

But Microsoft XP has been a dear friend for so long, and deserves a better send off. XP deserves our ‘thanks.’ Our well wishes and final goodbyes.

Or at least a few last jabs at its virus-inducing platform. So without further adieu, I present the next great internet sensation to fail:

 

A Windows XP Eulogy: Your RAM Shall Live on Forever.

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Windows-XP-Eulogy-Your-Image-Shall-Be-Forever-Burned-on-a-Disk-BecauseYouGoogledMe

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2nd Most Interesting Man in the World

I don’t always do the same thing as my brother, but when I do I disappoint Mother

 

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10 Signs You Are Actually Ralphie From ‘A Christmas Story’

All we want in life is our own version of the Red Ryder BB Gun. But life is like the Bupkis’ dogs, eating our turkey dinner before we’ve had leftovers. In reality, there’s a little Ralphie in all of us.

1. There’s an embarrassing, handmade outfit in your closet you’re obligated to wear once a year.

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2. An inanimate object has turned you on.

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3. You’ve encouraged a friend to do something dumb, for your own enjoyment.

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4. The thought of meeting the actual Santa Claus is beyond frightening.Image

5. Keeping quiet is your preferred method for avoiding trouble.

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6. Gibberish has spewed from your mouth during intense, emotional moments.

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7. You’ve accidentally cursed at an incredibly inappropriate time.

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8. You claim to be in more pain than you are, just for the sympathy.

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9. You hand in a report and know it’s the best assortment of words ever written.

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10. You’ve been duped by an ad on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram…

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American Reactions To Boxing Day

Rule #1: If it doesn’t involve eating, drinking or opening presents, it’s not a real holiday.
Rule #2: If it’s celebrated in Canada, it’s definitely not a real holiday.

A True Patriot Respects Your Decision to Celebrate a Ridiculous Holiday

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Canceling Boxing Day Would be Change We Can All Believe In.

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The Day After Santa’s Birthday Shouldn’t Be Celebrated.

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Even Wikipedia Can’t Explain What it is.

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Haz Boxing Day?

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Conspiracy Keanu is, as usual, confused

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The Truest American Loves America too Much to Acknowledge its Existence.

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Oh, So You Celebrate Boxing Day. Please Allow Me to Retort.

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The Overly Manly Man Doesn’t Understand Boxing the Concept.

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The Typical American Ain’t Got No Time for That.

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