All we want in life is our own version of the Red Ryder BB Gun. But life is like the Bupkis’ dogs, eating our turkey dinner before we’ve had leftovers. In reality, there’s a little Ralphie in all of us.
1. There’s an embarrassing, handmade outfit in your closet you’re obligated to wear once a year.
2. An inanimate object has turned you on.
3. You’ve encouraged a friend to do something dumb, for your own enjoyment.
5. Keeping quiet is your preferred method for avoiding trouble.
6. Gibberish has spewed from your mouth during intense, emotional moments.
7. You’ve accidentally cursed at an incredibly inappropriate time.
8. You claim to be in more pain than you are, just for the sympathy.
9. You hand in a report and know it’s the best assortment of words ever written.
10. You’ve been duped by an ad on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram…